15 November, 2017
Follow my blog with Bloglovin
today I thought it was a good idea to tell you guys about my struggle.
last year, after Christmas break,
I started feeling down, and not just a bad day. I felt depressed for four weeks straight.
I just couldn't function normally.
I couldn't get out of my bed in the morning.
it took me very long to get ready for school.
when I was at school, I wouldn't talk to anyone (not even my friends). I'd also rather sit alone.
at the time I came home, I was too exhausted to do my homework and to study for tests. (not that I'm a very motivated student but this was something else)
I went straight to my room and locked myself in. I would sit on my bed and just stare in the deep. if I didn't stare I was either crying or sleeping.
normally I watch a movie, or Riverdale, my favorite Youtubers (i'll write a post soon about the videos I watch, so stay tuned!) or I was reading a book, but just sitting is not something I do.
as you know, I'm diagnosed with ADHD, its impossible for me to sit still!
this continued for maybe five weeks and I asked my parents what we could do about this.
because I was very tired, I had my blood tested.
I didn't expect that something would come out of the tests.
when I was 14 I had Pfeiffer so I couldn't get that anymore.
so after my blood was perfectly normal, we went to the hospital. but the tests there showed there was nothing wrong with my physical health.
in March, and a few mental breakdowns later (one of them was when I went skiing and started randomly crying as I was going down... pretty awkward.), I went to see a therapist.
but as the lucky person that I am, I went to see a therapist a couple years before all of this happened. so I knew where to go!
after some more testing, I was diagnosed with depression. (wasn't that surprising...).
I went into therapy (i still have it once a week.. yay)
I had to think positive, change my negative thoughts in positive ones... and girl I tell ya that's bloody difficult!
after I did all that positive thinking, my thoughts were still negative. I was more than six months in therapy....
so we had to look somewhere else in the weird and random thing called: 'my Brain'.
my therapist said it was a good idea to work on my self-esteem.
so for the last couple of weeks, I try to think about my qualities.
I had to ask my friends if they wanted to tell me some of my good qualities. at first, it was pretty weird. I thought that I may sound arrogant. I was like "I'm not going to ask my friends!"
but I realized I couldn't do this on my own so I asked them.
and to be honest, I think everyone should ask their friends and/ or family about their good qualities! it's not arrogant!
but yeah, let's continue with this story!
around the same time I started working on my self-esteem, I started to use medication.
I use this medicine now for maybe five weeks, and they are HORRIBLE. not because I don't want them but they have so many side-effects!
In the beginning, i felt sick. I had the worsed head-ache and felt very anxious. but that's all gone now.
but after the first week, I lost my appetite. I just stopped eating. my dad bought donuts and chocolate for me, in the hope that I would eat those things. but I just couldn't.
now, on November 15th, I still haven't gotten my appetite back.
I lost around 7 kilograms in the past three weeks.
I don't see much improvement, but there are some.
so I have faith in a good ending of this story!
thanks for reading through my depressing story!
I really want to talk to people with the same problems and share our stories with each other!
you can leave a comment and I'll try to respond!
if you want to follow me on Twitter... you can! follow me @StoriesofLae and DM me!
love,
Lae
My depression
today I thought it was a good idea to tell you guys about my struggle.
last year, after Christmas break,
I started feeling down, and not just a bad day. I felt depressed for four weeks straight.
I just couldn't function normally.
I couldn't get out of my bed in the morning.
it took me very long to get ready for school.
when I was at school, I wouldn't talk to anyone (not even my friends). I'd also rather sit alone.
at the time I came home, I was too exhausted to do my homework and to study for tests. (not that I'm a very motivated student but this was something else)
I went straight to my room and locked myself in. I would sit on my bed and just stare in the deep. if I didn't stare I was either crying or sleeping.
normally I watch a movie, or Riverdale, my favorite Youtubers (i'll write a post soon about the videos I watch, so stay tuned!) or I was reading a book, but just sitting is not something I do.
as you know, I'm diagnosed with ADHD, its impossible for me to sit still!
this continued for maybe five weeks and I asked my parents what we could do about this.
because I was very tired, I had my blood tested.
I didn't expect that something would come out of the tests.
when I was 14 I had Pfeiffer so I couldn't get that anymore.
so after my blood was perfectly normal, we went to the hospital. but the tests there showed there was nothing wrong with my physical health.
in March, and a few mental breakdowns later (one of them was when I went skiing and started randomly crying as I was going down... pretty awkward.), I went to see a therapist.
but as the lucky person that I am, I went to see a therapist a couple years before all of this happened. so I knew where to go!
after some more testing, I was diagnosed with depression. (wasn't that surprising...).
I went into therapy (i still have it once a week.. yay)
I had to think positive, change my negative thoughts in positive ones... and girl I tell ya that's bloody difficult!
after I did all that positive thinking, my thoughts were still negative. I was more than six months in therapy....
so we had to look somewhere else in the weird and random thing called: 'my Brain'.
my therapist said it was a good idea to work on my self-esteem.
so for the last couple of weeks, I try to think about my qualities.
I had to ask my friends if they wanted to tell me some of my good qualities. at first, it was pretty weird. I thought that I may sound arrogant. I was like "I'm not going to ask my friends!"
but I realized I couldn't do this on my own so I asked them.
and to be honest, I think everyone should ask their friends and/ or family about their good qualities! it's not arrogant!
but yeah, let's continue with this story!
around the same time I started working on my self-esteem, I started to use medication.
I use this medicine now for maybe five weeks, and they are HORRIBLE. not because I don't want them but they have so many side-effects!
In the beginning, i felt sick. I had the worsed head-ache and felt very anxious. but that's all gone now.
but after the first week, I lost my appetite. I just stopped eating. my dad bought donuts and chocolate for me, in the hope that I would eat those things. but I just couldn't.
now, on November 15th, I still haven't gotten my appetite back.
I lost around 7 kilograms in the past three weeks.
I don't see much improvement, but there are some.
so I have faith in a good ending of this story!
thanks for reading through my depressing story!
I really want to talk to people with the same problems and share our stories with each other!
you can leave a comment and I'll try to respond!
if you want to follow me on Twitter... you can! follow me @StoriesofLae and DM me!
love,
Lae
Comments
Post a Comment